I must be mad to think about ‘Anger’ on the day love is in the air all over the world. But I think it is very much necessary to understand anger any day. Anger has various flavors. Some are positive and some are negative. Here I am talking about negative anger.
Human body understands anger very well. It gives you many signals to indicate that you are angry. Some common signs are Face turning red, sweating especially palms, shivering, unclear or shaky voice, loud voice, things falling from hands, throwing things etc. Here our body is trying to indicate that something is wrong. When our body indicates anything it means we need to take some necessary action. But we hardly care what our body tell us.
We get angry with people, objects, ourselves, and sometime entire world. The reason for getting angry is not necessary to describe but there is one thing common in all reasons i.e. not happy. Have you ever seen anybody happy but still angry? I have never. And we are not happy because something happened or happening against our expectations. Our expectation may be legitimate or utter non-sense. Whatever may be the situation or reason, anger (negative) is neither good for us nor anybody around us. Have you ever found a solution when you are angry? I have never so far.
The output of the ‘anger’ process is always hurting ourselves and/or others really hard either physically or emotionally. Most of the time we hurt ourselves more than others and we loose more than the other person. We may realize what we lost after sometime but the time would have gone by then to rectify that. When we hurt somebody emotionally it takes years to heal and most of the times it never heals.
You mostly get angry and upset with your loved ones very often. You get angry for some silly reasons and you react to situations badly. The reason is you have many expectations from them. You assume they understand your situation as you do but it is not humanly possible to do so. No human in this world can ever understand what you are going through as you do. I would exclude Mother’s here because they are next to god and they know everything. Stay away from your loved ones for sometime you will regret what you have done big time and you can never forgive yourself.
Then we get angry with people at work or society. Again here expectation is the cause for the anger but once we build an impression about them it remain there for long. After that whatever they do you dislike that, even if they do it with good intentions. You become skeptical . But if the same is done by another person whom we like, we don’t mind.
Most of the times anger goes off when we understand the situation from the other persons point of view. Can we do this while getting angry, so that, we do not get angry and manage the situation better? Yes it is possible with lots of practice and by keeping your expectations flexible. Thinking before reacting can help us understand the situation better and handle it. But here factor that plays a role is time. How much time we give to think before we react. generally we get angry at the very moment. Have you ever see a situation where something happened and you got angry after few hours? Never. But if you practice to do that then you may succeed in managing your anger.
– Stray Dog