“Extremely frustrating! How can he say this to me? He is blaming me and trying to convince others that I have made a blunder. Unacceptable!!! I am going to reply to this immediately. I will teach him what I am up to.
How dare he even say this to me when his designation is much lower than mine?
The people of that city are like that. They always try to blame others for mistakes and claim that they are straight forward.
Who gave them the liberty to disrespect others in public. This is a professional world. They have to behave like professional.
Actually he knows nothing and they are very lazy people. They use these tantrums to hide their weakness. Unbelievable that these kind of people are surviving in the industry. The most unfortunate situation of the industry.”, A frustrated, angry, defensive Rakesh is talking on the context of an email where he had missed to follow one process as he was asked by somebody in management which caused little glitz and was called out by one member from another office which is in a different city.
Jignesh his colleague was the silent listener here. He did let Rakesh to vent his frustration and nodded his in affirmation to ensure Rakesh feels comfortable. There was a long silence after Rakesh spoke.
“What is the problem?”, Jignesh asked.
“What do you mean? I explained you everything? They are trying to act smart and demean us.”, Rakesh said.
“That’s your perception which you believe as truth but can you please think beyond and give some benefit of doubt to your belief.”, Jignesh said to provoke the positive thought in the mind of Rakesh.
“The other day I heard great appreciation about you and your team by the manager of that team. They said you guys are doing great as team and rapidly improving.”, Jignesh lied to see the change in thought process.
“Actually it was not that bad. They have helped us many time. Rather held our hand in bad situations. Kashish, Raj, Naren, James, Kim, Tom are very nice people. Even Tim. But Akash is acting too smart. Couldn’t he have told me directly that he thinks my skipping tis process is bad and I could have explained him why I did that. What was the need to tell this to entire world?”, Rakesh clarified his problem. Jignesh saw he is now in a position to focus on the real pain point.
“Can you please read the email again and show me where you saw he blamed you?”, Jignesh asked Rakesh where he had already read the email and found no reference of Rakesh.
Rakesh realized that but then said, “But I was the person who did it, right? so I should be blamed.”.
“You said somebody in senior management of another department asked you to skip the process, isn’t it? What if the question is on him and there is no way to blame a person of that stature without generalizing it.”, Rakesh said.
“I am not saying that it is the right way but want you to think in other perspective”, Jignesh clarified.
Rakesh read the email again and again with the new mindset and he started believing Jignesh’s point of view. He pinged Akash in office communicator to clarify his stand where Akash very clearly mentioned his intention which was similar to Jignesh’s thought process. Rakesh regained his confidence back on team work and considered all working for the common purpose.
It is easy to lose your temper, misunderstand, miscommunication or criticize, as a reserved body fluid and dedicated nerves are sitting idle for this purpose. When you stop thinking constructive, positive, proactive, these nerves get a chance to play their role. You need to put efforts to stop them from functioning. It needs effort. Your wrong perception is lesser harmful when you just keep it with yourself but when you start spitting that in public to get a gang of people with similar thoughts you create a bigger unpardonable problem for the society. It is easy to feel bad but as humans we must understand and try all our efforts to make it good. Life is short to bring the world together, no time to create distances.
– Stray Dog